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Mark 10:2 "And the Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?'"

 

Jesus replies "No" to this question, after explaining that the only reason Moses allowed divorce was due to people's "hardness of heart." God allowed Moses to permit divorce, but now that His Son is here, it is time to soften hearts and set the record straight on many things, including divorce.

 

This sounds almost like Jesus is the one with the hard heart. There are plenty of times divorce was misused, I'm sure, as there are today, but there are also very difficult, loveless marriages, and it seems hard-hearted to not allow those to be dissolved. But Jesus doesn't leave room for that, He emphatically states "Whoever divorces ... and marries another, commits adultery" (Mark 10:11-12).

 

When Jesus came, He showed us what it means to love as God does. It means selflessly giving of oneself for the sake of the other, even if the other does not love you back. Marriage and family are vitally important in God's plan, they are a reflection of the Trinity ("the two shall become one" (Mark 10:8)), and the bedrock on which society is built. That is why the devil attacks them constantly, and why "the decisive battle between the kingdom of Christ and Satan will be over marriage and the family", as Sister Lucia of Fatima wrote.

 

If we apply God's way of loving to marriage, it is much easier to see why He hates divorce. God has made a commitment to His people, one He will never break. When we marry, we make a similar commitment to another, and to the children God chooses to bless us with. That commitment is taken by God and used to make two people one, it should not be broken, it actually cannot be broken (which is why we commit adultery when we remarry after divorce).

 

We demonstrate God's selfless love when we bear with our spouses even if and when the passion or romantic love fades, and even when things are difficult or unsatisfying. We are meant to help our spouses get to Heaven. Just as God doesn't cut and run when we disappoint Him, nor should we when our spouses disappoint us. That is is the kind of love Jesus showed us in His life and death; that is having a softer heart.

 

Divorce breaks (or, rather, attempts to break) the oneness God creates in marriage, harming spouses, children, and society at large. It shows a preference for self over others, and evidences hardness of heart. To those we have vowed to love, honor, and obey, for better or for worse, we owe a greater duty of love, and a much softer heart.