Ezekiel 3:1-3. The Lord is sending Ezekiel to the people of Israel to prophesy to them, for they are "a nation of rebels." (Ezekiel 2:3). Before he is sent, however, Ezekiel is given a scroll to eat. The Lord says "Son of man, eat what is offered to you; eat this scroll, and go, speak to the house of Israel." So Ezekiel opens his mouth and the Lord gives him the scroll to eat, telling him to "fill your stomach with it." And Ezekiel says it is as sweet as honey in his mouth.

This really speaks to me today! I have been struggling a lot with whether the feelings and messages I have been getting are things I am meant to share or things that are meant for me. There is also a timing aspect to this question. Often, they are meant for me in the moment (like this passage today!), and I am to think, journal, discern, and try to find the full meaning in them. This is me eating the scroll. I need to eat it, digest it, let it fill my stomach. Then, later will come the time when I am to speak. God always lets me know when this is, He makes it abundantly clear.

My journey towards His will for me has gone through many stages. At first, I struggled with whether the messages were from Him or from the devil or from my own brain/ego. To help me with that, He put Saint Ignatius in my path, and opened me up to discernment. It is truly amazing! (Thank you, Saint ignatius!) Once I learned to discern (still not being perfect at it, but much better), then my initial reaction was to speak immediately when I knew I was getting a message from God. This was wrong, too, and has caused a number of problems. That is my ego and my "plow-ahead" nature taking over. I have learned through much trial and error that I am meant to think about the things He's revealing to me. I am to internalize them, let them become part of me, my thought process, my worldview. This takes time, patience, and work on my part. (And I am not good at patience, but I am learning it!)

God is not giving me band-aids to apply to the world, he is giving me the Word - the cure, but I have to be trained in how to administer it. Just like any cure, different people and situations require different doses and administration. I need to have it be part of me so that I will know how to dispense it correctly. In other words, I need to be cured myself first, before I can share the cure with others properly.

So God prepares us. He calls us to Him, like Ezekiel. Once we let the scales fall from our eyes and see Him in his glory, He tells us our mission. But before being sent out on our mission, we must willingly open our mouths and let Him fill us with the scroll - the Word - the cure. Then we must eat and digest it, give it time to work in us. This is essential before we rashly go out to everyone else to try to give them something we don't fully understand and haven't let take hold in us.