Acts 8:1-3. Stephen has just been stoned to death, with Saul consenting to his death. "And on that day, a great persecution arose against the church in Jerusalem". The new believers scattered through Judea and Samaria, except for the apostles. Devout men buried Stephen, making great lamentation over him. Meanwhile, Saul began laying waste to the church. He entered house after house of believers, dragging out men and women and committing them to prison.

Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul, so how fitting that I am reading about Saul beginning his persecution of the church. Stephen's murder was a flash-point. Up until then, the Jewish leaders had been holding back, trying to get a handle on what was happening, but clearly itching to put a stop to it. When Stephen testified so beautifully before them and made them see their guilt, they snapped and killed him. Having done this, they are now "all-in" - they have to destroy this new church entirely in order to maintain their own belief that they are the ones in the right. You would think they would have felt this way after killing Jesus, but they truly did not understand what they had done there. It wasn't until Stephen walked them through it that they truly understood their evil.

When this happens to us, when we become aware of the evil we've done, we have two choices - double down on the sin, justifying it to ourselves, and try to extinguish the truth entirely (which is impossible, and which leads to a further spiral of sin and evil); or repent, confess, and get back on the right path. The latter is the only choice that will save us, so, being the fallen people that we are, we often choose the former. When the evil is so great, such as killing God himself, the evil that we have to do in order to try to extinguish our guilt and hide the truth becomes greater and greater, as well.

Saul, as a good Jewish Pharisee, is all-in with the others. He really believes that he is doing good by arresting and persecuting these new Christians. He, too, will find out that it is impossible to extinguish the truth. Fortunately for us, he will repent, confess, and become one of our greatest early church fathers! There is always time to repent, no matter how bad we've been, no matter the evil that we've done, and there is always room for hope for others!