Ruth 4:1-6. Boaz, knowing that he wants to marry Ruth, the Moabitiss widow of a Jew, but also knowing that her closer relation has the primary claim to marry her, brings the situation to a head. He goes to a parcel of land owned by Naomi, Ruth's mother-in-law, and waits for the relation to pass by. When he does, Boaz stops him and says Naomi is looking to sell this land and you, as the closest living relation of her deceased husband, have the primary claim to it. If you do not buy it, though, I am next in line and I will buy it. The relation says yes, I will buy it. Then Boaz says fine, but when you do, you are also getting responsibility for Ruth, and will be redeeming her husband's name and inheritance. The relation then says I cannot do that, I will jeopardize my own inheritance if I take on Ruth and her husband's name and inheritance. Thus, Boaz becomes free to marry Ruth.

Following the rules is always the best way to try to get what we want. Boaz wants to marry Ruth, Ruth wants to marry Boaz, Naomi wants Ruth and Boaz to marry, the marriage would be a very good thing for all. However, under Jewish law, there is a relation that has a prior claim to Ruth. This claim involves a responsibility or duty on his part, as well. It's not just that he can marry Ruth or not. It's that the law is there to protect widows, so a good Jew would feel that responsibility (even though Ruth is a Moabitess, she was maried to a Jew).

The relation, though, is apparently not fully aware of the situation, and certainly not thinking about it. Boaz and Ruth could very well have just pushed thoughts of him and his rights and duties out of their minds and married. Very likely, the relation would never have come to care one bit. But, then again, maybe someday in the future he would come to learn of the value of the field, or fall in love with Ruth, or be in a situation where he needed a wife or an inheritance. Then, he would have a claim and a cause against Boaz for marrying Ruth.

So Boaz does it right  - he finds a way to bring the situation and all that entails to the relation's attention, explains everything to him, and lets him make his own choice. There is no coercion or argument, he just presents him with the facts and leaves everything in God's hands.

Boaz gave the relation all of the respect and honor he is entitled to, even though it might have meant not being able to marry Ruth. If it had worked out that the relation married Ruth, then Boaz, as a faithful man, would realize that that had been God's will. But, because Boaz was faithful to God, he got what was good and what he wanted. He got it in a just and righteous way, so there can be no future claim against the marriage. The relation knows he was treated justly, and does not feel cheated or fooled.

This is why God gives us rules and laws. He knows what is good for all of us. He knows how to make all of us feel respected and not cheated in this fallen world. When we follow the rules, we are allowing God's will to occur, and we are giving others their due as fellow children of God.