1 Kings 18:12 "And as soon as I have gone from you, the Spirit of the Lord will carry you wither I know not; and so, when I come and tell Ahab and he cannot find you, he will kill me, although I your servant have revered the Lord from my youth".

The person speaking here is Obadiah, the head of Ahab's household. While Ahab, and especially his wife Jezebel, were wicked people, Obadiah remained faithful to God, and even saved a hundred prophets from Jezebel. Obadiah was on a mission for Ahab to scour the land for grass for the animals during the drought when he ran into Elijah. (1 Kings 18:3-8). Earlier, Elijah had confronted Ahab and prophesied the drought because of Ahab's idolatry and wickedness. (1 Kings 17:1). When the drought came and was so severe, Ahab began searching for Elijah diligently. (1 Kings 18:10). When Obadiah happened upon Elijah, Elijah told him to go and tell Ahab where he was. This is when Obadiah raised his objection. He feared that he would tell Ahab, only to have Elijah gone by the time Ahab got there, which could cost Obadiah his life. (1 Kings 18:9-12).

Obadiah's concern is valid, he knows how hard Ahab has been searching for Elijah, and he knows how angry Ahab will be if a trusted servant tells him where Elijah is only to be proven wrong. He is not thinking that Elijah would leave on a whim, he just knows how Elijah works, how the "Spirit of the Lord" carries Elijah away whenever and wherever he needs to be. What Obadiah does not know, though, is that the Lord had told Elijah to present himself to Ahab, so it is God's will that Elijah stay put until the meeting takes place. (1 Kings 18:1). When Elijah assures Obadiah he will show himself to Ahab, Obadiah does as asked, and Ahab meets with Elijah, from which the showdown with the priests of Baal is set in motion, and eventually rain comes again to the land after Elijah follows all of God's commands. (1 Kings 18:17-45).

Everything happened here just the way God intended, as it always does, but I sympathize with Obadiah's questioning. Obadiah was trying to be a good servant to both God and king. Under a righteous king, that would have been easy - such a king would want to serve God and to lead his people to do so as well. But when God and state diverge, that is where the faithful really have to think on their feet. It is clear that Obadiah knew his first duty was to God, but that did not mean he should not also faithfully fulfill his duties to the king, as long as they did not conflict with his duties to God. In fact, the law required that of him. It seems Obadiah was balancing his duties fairly well, but Elijah put him in a bit of a spot. Obadiah knew Elijah spoke for God, so he knew he should obey him, but he also knew his king's tendencies, so he felt some trepidation. He expressed those feelings to Elijah in an honest and forthright matter, and Elijah quickly put them to rest, enabling Obadiah to proceed without fear.

For most of my life I have been blessed to have been able to be a good citizen of my country while also a faithful member of my Church. Lately, though, Church and state are diverging more and more, and sometimes I feel engaged in the same kind of balancing act that Obadiah experienced. Sometimes I feel very strongly that God is asking me to do something (or not do something;) that will put me in the bad graces of the "powers that be", and those who still trust them. At those times I talk to God the way Obadiah did with Elijah. I tell him that I'm hesitant, and unsure, because what I think He's asking me to do seems risky. I tell Him the risks I see and the fears I have about doing as I think He is directing me. One time I was doing this at Adoration, in no small amount of distress, and His answer came right there and right then via a text from one of those very "powers that be" letting me off the hook and free to do as God was asking.

So I can totally relate to Obadiah here. He is put in a bad position, but he has his priorities straight. He tells Elijah his fears and the risks he is taking on by doing as Elijah asks, and he gets a comforting answer right away, freeing him to do as asked without fear. I think God appreciates when we talk to Him like this, it gives Him the chance to reassure us so we are confident unafraid. There's a right way to do it, though. We should always approach our questioning of God from the standpoint of wanting to do His will, asking if we are in fact hearing Him correctly, and tell Him the things we fear about doing it. He will let us know if it is His will and if it truly is, He will give us the assurance we need to do it without fear.