2 Samuel 2:24-28. Joab and Abishai, who are loyal to David, are pursuing Abner, who was loyal to Saul and believes Saul's son is the rightful king of Israel. Abner comes to the hill of Ammah and the Benjaminites gather behind him in solidarity and to defend him. He calls out to Joab "Shall the sword devour forever?" And asks Joab to call off the pursuit of his fellow Jews because otherwise "the end will be bitter." Joab replies that if Abner had not spoken just now, surely the men would have given up the pursuit by morning. But Joab does blow the trumpet and the men stop pursuing Abner, thus averting a conflict with the Benjaminites and Abner's forces.

This is a power struggle. It happens every time there is not a peaceful and legitimate transfer of power. Saul was the king, but then God anointed David as king, so we know that David will be king, and that Saul's son is not the rightful king, but Abner did not know that. He was not wrong to be thinking in terms of a linear succession to the throne, it's just that he was thinking in worldly terms and was not in tune with God's will. Joab is right to call off the pursuit of his fellow Jews and countrymen, but how human is it that he has to get in the last word first? He tells Abner that if he had just kept his mouth shut, they would have stopped pursuing him by morning anyway!

This is a lesson for me as I sense some softening from some of the people who treated me very badly during the pandemic. I know that they were acting out of fear and misplaced trust in the systems and the "experts." I am not sure if they are easing up a bit because they are no longer as afraid of the virus or because they are coming to see that they were lied to. That makes me still very unsure of what I can say around them, because I have found that people really need to cling to something that they believed in during the "pandemic" years in order to justify their behavior, which was often quite horrible. 

Until I am sure which of the many lies someone is clinging to, I do not know what topics should not be raised with them. It is so stressful! But once I figure it out, once I see where each individual person's land mines are, I have to call off the pursuit of truth on that topic with that person, at least. They psychologically need to believe the narrative that they have told themselves right now, so I have to leave them be in the name of peace and the hope of having any kind of relationship with them.

I also must try to resist the urge to have the last word - to say "You were wrong, and I told you you were wrong, but you wouldn't listen to me. If you had just kept your mouth shut we wouldn't be in this position!" I have to resist being like Joab. This is incredibly difficult! God, give me grace and patience!