Sirach 37:1-8. Some people who say they are your friends are friends in name only, and what "a grief to the death when a companion and a friend turns to enmity." Some friends rejoice when you are happy but turn away in times of trouble. Some help a friend "for their stomach's sake," but take up a shield when battle comes. Do not forget your friends, be mindful of them in your heart and in your wealth.

I am struggling with this mightily right now. I have friends and family members who did turn to enmity in their fear over COVID and, surprisingly, politics. It truly is and was "a grief to the death." I have been through a massive emotional trauma over the last few years because of this and the only thing that got me through was my faith and total reliance on Jesus, Mary, and the saints. There were many times, even with prayer and knowing that God was with me, that I truly felt I couldn't go on.

But now much of that pain is in the past (although I still feel it's echo, especially when talking to these lost friends and family members who continue to act like, and I think believe, they did nothing wrong, and keep trying to justify what they said and did, or didn't do or say). So what is my duty now to these people? Am I to remember them in my "wealth." I think the word wealth here means good times. Am I sufficiently past the heartbreak to be considered to be in a "good time?" My emotions tell me I am not, I still feel the pain on almost a daily basis. And as the suffering in the world keeps mounting, it is difficult to think I am in a "good time."

But I also know that they are now suffering as the effects of their and society's behavior become felt in families and friendships and throughout the country and the world, and as the death and injury from the lockdown effects and the vaccines continue to mount. So as my friends and family suffer, am I "taking up a shield" against their pain, as they did to mine? Sometimes I think I am, and I pray and try to discern what to do. Should I reach out to them? But when I try to talk to them, I find I still cannot speak freely around them, I still cannot express my concerns and the things that I know to be true, I still get a very odd and sometimes antagonistic response. They still seem to think that "better safe at all costs than sorry" was the right way to go, to the point of the loss of a functioning society, the loss of children's learning and mental health, the loss of businesses, suicides, the loss of human harmony, and the all but forced injection of what is turning out to be a very dangerous and ineffective gene therapy. If there's anything to be "sorry" about, it is the tremendous havoc the COVID policies and vaccines have wrought. Also, some of them still are getting vaccines, causing me great worry and distress.

So what are my duties to these people? How do I love them? Right now, I'm just praying for them, and, in the case of my parents, to whom I have a special duty, attempting calls and visits when I am emotionally able to "bite the bullet" and not respond in my pain to them. This is a constant, exhausting struggle, so maybe that is all that God is asking of me right now. But I truly hope He forgives me if I am not being the friend and daughter that I am supposed to be. I hope He sees how much I am trying and struggling!